To leave

I let my guard down because you insisted. And just as I had put down my defences, yours went straight up. A brick wall built at the speed of light. I have no idea how to climb it. I have no idea how to peak through the cracks. You’re quite the construction worker. Well done, quite the task you’ve achieved. And quite the mess you’ve left behind…

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To unlove

To feel
And unfeel
Because the vocabulary expressed
Bathed in uncertainty
A speeding trickle of uneasiness
Turned to cascade of angst

To do no wrong
Yet desiring to undo
Because the looks exchanged
Possessed with dishonor
An abandonment of sincerity
Turned to eruption of disdain

To write
And unwrite
Because when written
Realizing
This is not a letter
For there is no envelope to seal
And the page
Is completely blank.

To W

The thing which pained me the most was her honest reflection of her incapability to love. How she envied the ones who could feel, be it heartache or heartbeat. Her words stuck with me. Here I was in the middle of my heartbreak, feeling each stab, and there she was, feeling nothing, not even a pinch. I wondered what was worse. We stood separately, each representing a half of better to have loved and lost than to never having loved at all.
When put in context, my heartache became pitiful and petty. I had loved and I had lost. She had never loved yet she had lost it all. I wanted to try to write down some words of comfort for her but I don’t know if I can. I’m convinced that she will learn how to love one day. And I hope the universe compensates her by never having her lose anyone ever again.