A worry

She looked up at me with her tiny little eyes.

“But, what if I don’t want to grow up?” Her eyes were full of doubt, questioning, confusion.

My precious girl. My brave little creature who, despite her young age, was older than most. What she had been through, few deserved. I looked at her. I wanted to tell her she didn’t need to grow up, she could stay little for as long as she liked. No one could ever steal her innocence from her. But I knew she would call my bluff. I’d raised a smart girl. So how could I possibly respond to her question? How could I look my little girl in the eyes and tell her that in fact life is going to force her to grow up, whether she wants to or not, but that’ll she do just fine.

“It’s okay, darling. You don’t ever have to decide to grow up. And don’t you ever let someone tell you to do so. Just be exactly who you wish to be. Be four years old when you’re twenty, be fifty-two when you’re ten. You’ll figure it out. You’ll see what life brings you and deal with it when it comes. As long as you are you,” I started but her little lips couldn’t be quiet for long.

“But mom, of course I’m me. Silly you, who else would I be?” she interrupted, a snicker leaving her sweet face. She disappeared into her imaginative wonderland, confusion vanished.

Oh, bless her soul. She’ll be alright. My little bluebird, of course you’ll always be you and for that I am forever grateful.


20 thoughts on “A worry

  1. Wow Erica a big departure from your usual posts. And I like it! 🙂
    (Of course I like your usual posts too.) But this is a different style of expressing yourself, creatively.
    You know, sometimes I look at my kids, just busy being kids, and I think to myself: ‘I wonder just what life has in store for you?’ Good and bad. We can only hope. When considering this I think of the whole of their lives, right up to, hopefully, them being grandparents after I have long since departed. It’s not maudlin, but realistic. We each pass on the torch to the next generation, and hope we’ve done enough.

  2. Ps I like the sentiment too:’my little bluebird’. I know you have labelled this fiction, but can I ask if you have children? I know in the past you have given me permission to ask personal questions, and you will decide if to answer or not. As you said: Curious George 🙂

    1. Thank you, Andy! A bit more emotional style, I think. Always so difficult to evaluate one’s own work.
      The way I see it we’re not handing the world over to our children, we’re actually borrowing it from them. So for everything we do, we have to consider the future consequences.
      You’re being very realistic and I think the same way sometimes. I prefer not to answer your question on children 🙂

      1. I’m quite the curious George(ina) myself. Or detective. I used to work as a researcher, nothing’s impossible to be found. I was also the kid who knew about all of my christmas presents before christmas because I would go around the house frantically searching, and of course finding them. But then I always regretted having found them. Lastly, I’m nearly impossible to surprise. I kind of hate this.

      2. I may as well as come clean then. I’m not really a guy. My name is Doris. That guy in my photo/Gravatar is my twin brother. He shaves more than I-just, but he has my dimples.
        This will come as no surprise to you then.

    1. Hahaha alright Doris! I’m glad you came clean, I’ve had my hunches about you not being who you claim to be. I researched society at large, macrotrends but also microtrends, people, interns who we were taking on, clients, weird phenomenons in a tiny corner of South America, Tiffany’s engagement app and its users, you name it, I researched it. All for work purposes of course! 😉

      1. Can’t recall exactly. But I would get briefs from my boss in the lines of “find the story about the kids in India using water bottles to build houses” and what she actually was referring to was the old folks in a ghetto in South America using old car parts to create solarpanels. So when I say nothing is impossible to be found, I do mean it haha.

      2. Solar panels from old car parts-the mind boggles!
        I told a guy I worked with once that I covered an old bin lid with foil, out it on the roof, and could get Sky tv through it. He was gullible enough to believe it, but I had to come clean when I thought that he was considering doing something similar 🙂
        Thank you for this conversation it has been most enlightening! You continue to inspire (speaking of which I’ve posted one last coast-themed poem) with both poetry and trivia. In a good way 🙂 Heading for the mundane real world now-enjoy your day Erica.

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