To know

Only condemn me for what I know
Not for what I should have understood
It is not simple
To play this guessing game
In fear of being excluded
For wrongful thinking.


All things beautiful

All things beautiful
All things calm
Let your heart beat free
For whomever
All things beautiful
All things blue
Let your spirit wander off
To wherever
Let flowers grow wild
Let skies turn black
For all things beautiful
For all things you.


You have no idea of the battles I have fought
The thoughts I logged
You have no clue of the words that hurt
The spit of dirt
You have no understanding of painful throws
The fake shows
I show you what to see
The makeup to conceal
I smile, I laugh, I breathe
A guard of steel
I’ve lost track
Can I take it back?
Inside turns outside
Just leave me be
I’ll never feel complete.

To forget

I never read your letter
I was too afraid to see
All the words you’d written down
Knowing you’d be leaving me.

I wonder if you wrote
Of truth or hurtful things
I’d like to have imagined
Words of sacred memories.

I know you didn’t mean
For it to end this way
I’m sorry I couldn’t accept
Someone else taking you away.

If one day I find strength
To read to understand, to try
I might even forgive you
For forgetting to say goodbye.

The ones

There were the different ones
The one who cheered me on
The one who made me laugh after years of silence
The one who opened up
Who overcame
Who let me in
The one I called him
The one to whom I was another her
The one who wasn’t supposed to slip away
The one who I kicked out
The one who left with my heart
The one I stole it back from
And then there was the one who was you
Who turned him and her to us
Ending the tale
As the last one.